The past two times we have had Sadie in the car it has been a NIGHTMARE. I'm not exaggerating people, constant screaming. Like night of the living dead screaming. The other day we had a 40 minute round trip and Sadie slept like an angel for the first 10 then screamed like you were ripping off body parts for the remaining 30. On our way up the hill I found myself chanting, half to her & half to me, "You're almost home. You're almost home. You're almost home. You're almost home."
Before I even realized what was happening, I was taking the first set of big curves on Loudon (holla WV friends) with gigantic tears in my eyes. Hello? Dangerous? (OK friends, google this road) You don't know this, but last June I said the same thing to Mom. She was laying there, in the best bedding I could find, trying to hold on to Chip and I but preparing to meet The King and all I could say was, "You're almost home, You're almost home. You're almost Home."
And then, after hours of me BEGGING The Father, but before I was ready to let her go, she was Home.
She. Was. HOME.
And I was left in this world without her.
What?
A world without my MOM?
As I drove up Loudon Heights, I was trying to figure out why I was connecting these things in my mind. I knew that connection wasn't from me. What was He trying to tell me?? Honestly, I still don't know. Hello anticlimactic post! Ha! Mom is still with me? Jesus is guiding me? Can I please just get the Christian Cliff Notes? I don't understand!! Anyone with a direct line to Jesus can chime in at any time.
I do know that this weekend is bittersweet for a LOT of people besides just me. I know that my sweet Mom's first Mother's Day in heaven is going to be spectacular, but my first Mother's Day on earth without her will royally suck. I refuse to attend church. I know what Mother's Day in a church consists of, and honestly, I want NO part of it. It is painful if you have lost your mother. It is painful if you are trying to become a mother but are having trouble. It is painful if you are a mother and your babies are in the arms of The Father. It's painful for everyone who isn't your "typical" mom. I love Jesus. I want no part of a Mother's Day service at church. *any church*
As you are preparing for Mother's Day, I ask you to remember that there may be people you know who have a really hard time on this day. Pray for them. Reach out to them. LOVE ON THEM. If you have to leave YOUR family to visit someone else's mother, do it. You may be glorifying the Father.
Whatever your circumstance. Know that JESUS knows you & your heart. If you can't talk to anyone else on this day, know that you can be 100% honest with Him.
If Mother's Day is hard for you, please call me. If you live close, come to my home! You do not have to hurt alone.
