Faith Persevering in Trial

That was the title of my Bible study yesterday morning, "Faith Persevering in Trial."   The passage of scripture to be read was Psalm 40: 1-10.  My heart didn't get past verse 3. 

40 I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
² He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
³ He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.

*emphasis is mine*

First my thoughts went to my families' current situation.  Always thinking about myself first.  My eyes locked in on "And establish my steps."  I just thought "yes. YES LORD!  Please establish my steps through this move, this marriage, this life!"  I probably read that line a hundred times if I read it once.  Then I went into mommy-mode and the verse and the power it holds was forgotten in the diapers, the house-selling worry, and the chores.

Today I read my Bible study. It was talking about God being a loving father, who wanted to run to us and wanted us to cry out to him with the desires of our hearts.  So I did.  I told him how I wanted my family under the same roof, I told him how I just wanted to stay home with Ella and my Mom & enjoy this season of our life and not have to work or worry about bills.  Man I was specific, I even told him how he could do it....."just like $200,000 in the lotto Lord".  I'm an idiot sometimes.  But my heart went another direction....it led me back to Psalm 40.

I read it again.  

40 I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
² He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
³ He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.

*emphasis is mine*

This time I thought about the 27 families in Connecticut.  (yes I included the shooters family).  I thought of all those broken hearts. I can't think of a better description of what those families might be going through than being stuck in miry clay in a horrible pit.  That really paints a picture doesn't it.  Grief so thick, so suffocating that it's like clay holding you in a HORRIBLE pit.....because a regular pit isn't bad enough.  

I thought how many of us have shed tears and how there has been finger pointing and gnashing of teeth on Facebook.  Gun debates.  Prayer in School debates.  I thought of how I was made fun of, and called "ridiculous" for my belief that chasing God out of our schools with a stick was probably not a smart move.

It made me think of this beloved country too....it sure feels like we are stuck neck deep in some miry clay in a horrible pit too doesn't it?  Christians are being made fun of, mocked for crying out to God, our "leaders" couldn't find the broad side of a barn if their life depended on it and we can't find 10 people who agree on anything from gun control to taxes.  

I tell you this though.  We have hope.  We have HOPE!  We don't have to be stuck anymore.  

40 I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
² He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
³ He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.

*emphasis is mine*

He will hear our cries, He will establish our steps, He will put a new song in our mouths and here is the great part.....MANY WILL SEE IT AND FEAR AND WILL TRUST IN THE LORD!!!!  

Now if that doesn't sound amazing I don't know what does.  We can't be silent anymore, we have to sing the new praises God puts in our hearts.  Otherwise nobody will hear it.  Here is how I'm starting.  This humble blog post.  I hope I hear the new song in your heart in the days and weeks to come.  He wants to bring us out of the miry clay in the horrible pit.  He wants to ESTABLISH OUR STEPS.  Lord knows I need that. This country needs that.  Those families in CT need that.   

Praise to our God!

 

Thankfulness

I was having a hard time focusing on work this morning.  I miss my monkey.  Ella has been home with me since Wednesday & I loved every second, I didn't want it to end, but it had to.  Work beckoned & the bank account begged.  I sat at my computer dutifully working while my heart runs around, out of sight at Ms. Lacy's house, then news came that rocked my soul. 

The 10 year old son of the Sports Information Director at Abilene Christian University died.  It was expected, he had battled a brain tumor for 2 years.  Yes, he is no longer in pain, and is now being held in the loving arms of Christ Himself and that is reason to rejoice.  Yet, my heart is broken for his parents.  The ache they will carry with them for the rest of their days is unimaginable to me.  I don't know them and I only know of them because he worked in the Lone Star Conference.  Even so, they haven't left my mind all morning. 

I have been posting on Facebook things I am thankful for this month.  Today I am so thankful that sweet Ella is healthy.  Thankful I can hug her.  Thankful that my workday will end and once again I will be reunited with that smiling face in a matter of hours.  I am also thankful that this family will be reunited. The following is a excerpt from an article (go here to read the full article), written before Rex passed where the parents Lance and Jill talk about having a conversation with Rex....

  “I think the thing we’ve known from the start of this, because Rex was baptized when he was 7, he has a relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s real. For a 9- or 10-year-old little boy, it’s real. He knows what’s going on. So the comforting thing for Jill and I is, even if he passes away, we know where he’ll be. We know he’ll be safe. We know he’ll be. (Jill chimes in “He’ll be in a place where he doesn’t want to come back.”) We told him, you’re not going to miss us. You’re not going to miss mommy and daddy or Ashley or Ryan or your grandparents or your friends, anything, because you’re going to be in a place where you don’t think about us. We told him, because this is our belief, that it’s going to be a matter of a couple of seconds before we’re there with him.”

“And (Rex) says, ‘For y’all, it’ll be like a thousand years,’” Jill added.

I hope you'll join me in praying for this family.  I know I'll be hugging Ella a little more when she gets home, and my heart will be filled with thanks that I can & broken because another family cannot.  

The week that marked a year.

Friday will be one year.  365 days.  How can one year have gone so fast and dragged by so slowly.  How could I have changed so much and so little. 

I heard a quote the other day that touched my heart.  Have you ever had that?  You hear a quote or the lyric to a song and you can feel God reach inside and write the words on your soul.  That happened the other day.  "Don't lay down in your problems."  I don't know the name of the woman who said it, I think she was a guest on the Today Show, but her words were instantly written on my heart.

I laid down in my problems.  No, I grabbed some blankets and a king size bed and I snuggled on up in my problems.  It was easy to do.  Mom has dementia, Dad dropped dead, weeks without work because it's an election year and my chosen profession is an election topic, raising a kid, blah, blah, blah......I just laid down.  To be honest with you, and myself, I didn't just lay their, I also allowed the words of the devil to lay there with me.  You know the thoughts you get in those weak moments...."Why is HER life so easy when mine is so hard?"  "I can't believe he is complaining about that, look at what I'M going through."  I let the enemy in and I laid down in my problems with him.

When I heard that woman utter the words above, it snapped, like a hot rubber band on the back of my neck.  Then the name of a woman I've never met popped into my head, this wasn't the first time I thought of her, but this time God used her to put me in my place.  I don't want to disclose too much because I don't know her, but in the span of a few short months she lost her husband in service to our country, had their baby without him, then lost her mom.  I cried. I asked for forgiveness. I prayed for her.  I was ashamed of myself. Still am. 

In the weeks since that day I have started to notice things.  I felt like Saul, all of the sudden I could see.  I see the pain others are facing instead of focusing on mine.  I focus on my blessings instead of my trials more and more. 

Today I spent all day snuggling with my sweet baby girl.  That is a gift.  I heard her say "mamma".  That is a gift.  I saw her run to me.  That is a gift.  I watched her play in the bathtub.  That is a gift.  I talked to my brother.  That is a gift. My wonderful husband walked through the door safe & sound.  That is a gift.  I had friends and family tell me they are praying for me.  That is a gift.  I could go on like this for a while, but you get the point. 

My Dad has been gone a year this Friday.  I miss him.  I cry.  But I refuse to lay down in my sorrow for one more second.  I have too many blessings waiting for me. 

"When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done. "

Parenting on PURPOSE

The recent story about the news anchor getting an email referring to her weight kind of pushed me over the edge.  I struggle with judgmental thoughts, and sometimes they get the best of me, but what makes someone think they have the right to say that to another person?

Has bullying in schools become so bad because PARENTS say the same type of things in front of their children, thereby making it okay?  What happened to TEACHING KINDNESS & COMPASSION!?!?!?!  

I wrote the above prior to doing my weekly Bible study.  Once a week I sit with some of the physically prettiest ladies God put on His earth, and do you know what we do?  We study the Bible & use Beth Moore's book "So Long Insecurity" and we are weeding our lives of insecurity because God didn't make us that way.  He did not make us weak and frail, He made us like this..."She is clothed with strength and dignity: she can laugh at the days to come." -Proverbs 31:25  For some reason however, each of us has been beat up by a world that is not our home and now we have the scars of insecurity to prove it.  Lord knows I have struggled with insecurity most, if not all of, my life.  As I was doing my Bible study tonight it kind of all fell together.  Maybe bullying is so bad because we are living in a world that makes us hate ourselves.  What happens when you hate yourself?  It's a heck of a lot easier to lash out at others.  Maybe we pick at or point out in them what we hate in ourselves.  Maybe we judge them on what makes us feel insecure.  Whatever the reason, it's like putting a band-aid on a sucking belly wound. 

I have caught myself more times than I'd like to admit saying something nasty about someone, or thinking something mean, or judging the motives of someone all I guess in an effort to make myself feel better.  I let myself get away with that crap for a long time.  It took having the eyes of a little girl looking straight up at me to teach her the world for me to realize that I needed some serious help. Okay, that's not really true.  I knew I needed help, it took having Ella for me to get help.  I don't think I'm alone....I think there are a whole lot of us that need help.  Our poor kids need help, their parents need help, our teachers need help, our sad & lonely world needs help.

Here is what has helped me morph into a significantly more secure person in week 8 of this 10 week study than I was week 1.  First, even though I came by a lot of my insecurities honestly, they don't define who I am.  God does.  Secondly, He didn't make me to be insecure.  He clothed me with strength and dignity.  Rest assured, He did the same for you.  Lastly, is the one He has been popping me on the head with for several weeks now, and the one I know our children need to understand, He made each of us in HIS image.
If you are still reading this, maybe you felt like me.  Maybe you have moments in the car where you are really nasty to another driver, or you see someone in public and criticize them (in your head, I know we are much to nice and Southern to say that to someone's face), I sure know I do that sometimes.  Now, God has been calling me out to remind myself that that person who I am thinking so lowly of.....THAT person was made in God's image.  That is the message I want to teach my daughter.  The girl at school that the other kids are calling fat....yep, made in His image. The one they call a slut...made in His image. The boy at school who "acts gay".....made in His image.  The lady sitting next to you at the restaurant who is overweight....still in His image.  The old man driving oh so slowly in front of you.....made in His image. 

"No matter how our beliefs may differ, you were created in the image of God and therefore possess a dignity that deserves my respect."  - Beth Moore (& now Beth Courter)

I hope those words touch your heart like they touched mine.  I want to teach my daughter this.  I want her to live this.  I want to live this.  I wonder what our schools and our world would look like if we all tried this for a week, a month, a year.  I know she is looking at me.....I don't have a choice.  I have to parent with a purpose, because she is my purpose.  God is my purpose. 

Being a Mom is AMAZING! Except for the times it sucks.

I love being Ella's mom.  It is all I dreamed being a mom would be and I wouldn't change it FOR A SECOND.  But let's be honest, being a parent is hard.....harder than I imagined.  I think it's hard at every stage; from squishy tiny human stage to "can I borrow your car" stage and beyond. (I can hear you seasoned parents giggling at my epiphany)  Thank Goodness I have God's grace to get through each day, there is NO WAY I could do this whole, raising a human thing without Him.  Lest we forget the awesomeness & the suckyness of the current season of our life, here is a snapshot of our lives these days!

AMAZING PARTS!
*  Ella is fully mobile & loves to climb! (some days this goes in the SUCKY category)
*  Our girl is talking!  Words she says are:  "Mama", "Dada", "NO" (usually "Um, no."), "Oh wow", "Uh Oh", "Kitty", "Drink".  One of the cutest things is when she says "Mama" really loud and then kind of whispers "Dada"
*  Ella loves to help!  Her favorite ways to help are; putting her dirty clothes in the laundry, turning off lights, picking up her toys before bathtime (this is a fight some days but usually she enjoys it), shutting doors and gates, locking the front door and putting clothes in the dryer
*  She is signing the words "please",  "more", "thank you" & "down" .  I have noticed a decrease in her frustration level since she learned these signs. My frustration level has also decreased! :)  She also really enjoys doing the flashcards with mommy.
*  Ella loves to read!  One of the most wonderful parts of the day is when she walks over and grabs a book from the pile and turns around.....she has the biggest smile as she walks back to me, so proud of herself.  It's one of those moments I want to bottle up and keep forever.
* She is VERY MUCH her own person!  She likes things that are not things she has seen Scott or I enjoy...she just genuinely likes them.   Her favorite things are currently: anything pink, SHOES!, big trucks, car commercials, and did I mention she really likes shoes??
* Her favorite TV show is Bubble Guppies, she even does a dance when it comes on, she gets so excited.  She also loves Pajanimals and the movie Finding Nemo.  Yes, I am fully aware that the American Academy of Pediatrics says No TV Until Age 2.  That is awesome & I would LOVE to follow that (she only gets about 20 minutes of TV a day, max) but if I want to get a shower or make dinner, she gets to watch Bubble Guppies.  I've tried calling Pediatricians offices to see if they will come watch her so I can cook or shower, but no one seems to be willing....so alas, she gets some TV.
* Ella's favorite things are Fanny, her stuffed monkey and her burpie.  Every single morning when Ella wakes up, she looks for Fanny.  When people come to the house, she runs to Fanny and shows them her best friend....almost an introduction.  
* Ella loves animals.....ALL animals.
* Our sweet girl has a kind heart & a feisty spirit.  I pray she keeps both. 

SUCKY PARTS
* Fit throwing.  Now, it doesn't happen that often, but when it does, it blows.
* Having to hurt her feelings when I discipline her.  I HATE hurting her feelings but I'm her parent, not her bestie.  My prayer is that if I do the former well enough, the latter will happen on it's own. 
* Not having any free help.  My brother is the only family we have close and he helps us, but he also works A LOT! I can't imagine how much easier it would be if we had grandparents or siblings that lived even an hour or two away!!!  That is not our life though, so we make do!
* Not having the time or money to all the things we want to do with her, and make all the memories we want to.

So, that's our crazy life......and I wouldn't change it for anything.  

Not just for produce & coffee anymore!

Think. Shop. Buy. LOCAL movement has been gaining momentum across the country.  It is in full force here at the Courter house;  our eggs and a lot of our produce come from Achille, OK, our coffee from Hotshots, and we love shopping at Craigheads in Caddo and the shops on Main here in Durant. 

BUT, I challenge you blog friends to take the Think. Shop. Buy. Local idea and apply it to the sports loving side of your brain!  Here in Durant you are lucky to have both a college and several schools who would LOVE to see you support their sports programs.  On any given Friday night, you could watch the pigskin be thrown around under the lights in Caddo (whose Bruins won a STATE TITLE last year), or at Paul Laird Field where the Durant Lions play.  I can guarantee that those programs would appreciate your support!

A lot of people in Durant don't seem to be connected to Southeastern Oklahoma State University.  GET CONNECTED!!  Take advantage of a fantastic opportunity to spend time with your family, entertain your kids for literally pennies and get engaged in your community.  Got kids?  You know how expensive it is to go out and MAKE MEMORIES as a family these days.  Good grief, you need a 2nd mortgage for a weekend in Dallas if you take in 2 sporting events and pay for meals out and a hotel room. 

I'm about to blow your mind......if you have, let's say a family of four, and buy local when it comes to sports by purchasing the SE All Seasons Family Pass ($125), you and your children can attend EVERY HOME GAME for ALL SPORTS for $0.07 per person/per game.  Seriously.  7 CENTS.  Your kids can literally pay their own way to our Home Opener this Saturday by digging through your car for spare change.  One of your kids could get the whole family in by finding some change in the Wal-Mart parking lot!.  Go here for more info.

What's that you say?  You are a die hard OU fan?  Okay, I'm an alumni, I get you.  The first 2 SE home games are OU bye weeks....no conflict there.  The 3rd SE home game is against Southwestern (3pm kickoff) and is generally a pretty big game so fan support is essential, paired with OU vs. Kansas.  Yeah, go ahead and DVR that one.  The final SE home game is versus Harding (2 pm kickoff) and should be a great game.  OU plays in Ames, IA...again, you pay for the DVR, let's use it.  And finally, the last regular season SE game is at ECU and kicks off at 2 pm.  OU plays Baylor at home.  This is a big game for SE. Every. Year!  We NEED you!  Heck, ride with Ella & I! 

So, I think your pickin up what I'm throwin down by now right?  Here's what you get when you Buy Local.

1) you help strengthen your community 
2) you get priceless memories with your kids for 7 CENTS per person/per game (ridiculous cheap)
3) you might meet new friends at a tailgate
4) my undying appreciation.
5) unheard of value for your sporting dollar

So please, this year consider Buying Local for your sports entertainment!!  If you don't live near Durant, check out the options in your area, I know your local D2 or D3 school would love to see you there!!  For more info, check out the "Tickets" link under the "Athletic Dept." tab on gosoutheastern.com or just click here

GO SOUTHEASTERN!!!!! 

Time flies when you're having fun!

I have been so bad with this blog.....SO BAD!  I just can't seem to get motivated to write and when I do have the motivation, Ella is awake, and that's just not going to happen.  What can I say, we've been busy making memories.  Here is my best attempt at catching up!

The summer of 2012 was a busy one with lots of time spent on the road, but it was so great to see so many of our friends and family! Here are some pictures from a great summer!!!! 

Ella had a lot of "Firsts" this summer....

1st trip to a petting zoo!  We met up with some of my cousins and their kids and took Ella to the Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead in Overland Park.  We had so much fun & true to form, Ella LOVED touching all most of the animals.....our little animal lover was NOT a fan of the pig! 

1st Royals Game!  After the petting zoo, we grabbed some lunch and headed to The K for Ella's first Royals game.  Scott was SO EXCITED to take his baby girl to watch his beloved Royals!  Ella's Godparents joined us and brought Lilly, my cousin Tim's oldest.  We had a wonderful time and even ran into Jason & Kim Menefee!

1st trip to the zoo!!!!  Ella had her first zoo experience at the Henry Doorly Zoo and she loved it, especially the aquarium.  We went with Grammy & Grandpa Courter and Aunt Berta & Uncle Reg were able to meet us there.  It was a very special day and we are so grateful that we were able to share it with family!

We were also able to visit with the Morley's (I can't seem to find the pictures) and spent some time with Adam, Jill, Pierson and Kendal.

Met the newest Lamberson....

And had a great time at the lake for the 4th of July with Ella's future husband & in-laws....

Ella also racked up her 6th and 7th states, adding Iowa & Nebraska to her list of travels.  She is an amazing kid who surprises, inspires and blesses us every single day.  We are so blessed and grateful that we were chosen to be her parents.     

Ruler of Hope: Landrey's Story

This is the story of Landrey Hope, the unborn daughter of our new defensive coordinator & his wife.  I am beyond thankful that God brought them here & cannot wait to meet His Miracle.  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

Ruler of Hope: Landrey's Story: This is a story of how God impacted our family through an unborn baby named Landrey Hope Eargle. This is Landrey's story.  On April 5,...

Clearing out the weeds

My flower bed has been severely neglected in the month of June.  Prior to that, it was lovely, not a weed in sight, and if one did creep up in the night, I would pluck it out the second I saw it in the morning light.   Well, life happened and I kept meaning to get out there, but never did.  Today I was bound and determined to get it back in shape.  It took all day.  Okay, full disclosure, it took a few hours but since I have a 1 year old, it took all day.

I was planning on doing the bulk of the work after we put Ella to bed, but it started raining.  Ugh, another distraction, even if we did desperately need the rain.  I decided to go out and get to work any way. 

I was pulling weeds like crazy, in the rain and I started thinking about how my life at times had been like my flower bed....all overgrown and in serious need of weeding.  I was also thinking how easy it was to see the big, established plants through the weeds, but the new plants were literally being attacked.  I was kicking myself because if I had just gone out and spent a little time each day, the weeds would never have gotten so bad!

Can you hear Him?  I certainly could.  The familiar sound of my Savior, using such a simple thing to  remind me that I need him to clean out the weeds in my life EVERY SINGLE DAY, because when I wait, the weeds take over.  What was so daunting could have easily been prevented with just a little time each day.  Then He started bringing some of you to my mind.  A lot of my people have a lot of new in their lives....new jobs, new babies, new marriages, new Bible studies, and doesn't the enemy love to attack new.  I felt like my Father was warning me to be standing in the the gap, on guard for my friends....to shoot down weeds that might be coming towards them like I'm some Bible toting, weed killer out of a Round Up commercial.  Ha! So I started praying, right there in my yard, on my muddy knees, with my hands in the dirt pulling weeds and knowing that God was using intercessory prayer to protect my friends from "weeds".  Maybe you are not a believer and you think I'm crazy.....if so, I'd love to talk with you more.  Maybe you are one of those people with a lot of new, if so, know that God put you on my mind....and I'm guessing He's using others too.  Maybe you are an established plant that stands out against the weeds....awesome, join me in prayer!  Maybe God brought me to your mind tonight.....wonderful, stop reading and start praying because I'll take all the prayer I can get for my little family, these weeds are killing me. 

You may be wondering why I wrote this.....I wrote this out of obedience to my Lord mainly.  I also wrote it so that you know that God cares enough about you to call on people to lift you up in prayer.  Even when everything is still new & shiny. So, enjoy the new & watch out for weeds, but know that My God has your back!!  

The Good Life

This is a little personal....but this whole blog is a little personal, so what the heck.  My amazing husband made this for our anniversary.  As you can imagine, I love every second of this.  Not surprisingly, so did Ella....that girl loves seeing herself on the television. 

"Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life......"

Oh the drama!

Never in my life did I ever imagine I'd be dealing with the aftermath of Dad's death on a social media site with all this drama and craziness.  I guess that's what I get for posting my disappointment about the truck. 

First of all, let me say that I never have, nor will I ever wish the woman who was married to my Dad ill will.  I wish her the best in her life and hope that she finds peace and happiness.  She lost someone in all this too and I'm not going to try to diminish that loss. I will say though, that she does not have children (either bio or adopted) so she does not, she cannot, fully understand the bond my Dad and I have. 

Secondly, I'm not using her name so she can remain anonymous.

Here is the original post "Sure wish we would have been given the opportunity to buy my Dad's truck from the woman he was married to before it was sold to some random person....I would have loved taking Ella to the golf course in it and having that little piece of my Dad still around."  There was nothing specific about his wife, or anything meant to be outright hurtful.

His wife is upset because of how my Dad's Oklahoma retirement check is being spent.  My dad left that check to my mother (who has dementia) and I have power of attorney for her.  When Dad died, mom was in a nursing home and on Medicaid (as a retired teacher she had a limited income) after Dad's sudden death I, as POA, had 2 choices.  1) continue receiving Medicaid for Mom, give the money to his wife and risk the federal government coming back to collect if they found out or 2) use the check to care for my mom. 

I actually went back and forth and tried to find a way to use some of the money each month for my mom and some for his wife, but I just couldn't do it with the limited resources there were.   It was only after I decided to use the money to pay for my mother's care in a memory care unit that his wife really stopped being friendly with me.

When we went to get some personal stuff from his house, she had someone there who watched us.  If you've never gone through your deceased parents belongings, it is heart wrenching and  having a stranger watching you like a hawk makes it doubly hard.

The last I heard, his wife was not ready to sell the truck and would contact me if she had an offer.  That never happened.  I was disappointed.  I was mad.  I did not ever intentionally try to hurt her.  

I was never outright rude, mean or hurtful to his wife.  I would not have done that because I know my Dad cared for her.  I only did the best I could in an impossible situation.  Yes, I put something on facebook about being disappointed about the truck, but I never said anything directly about her or anything outright hurtful. 



Not that I owe anyone this little nugget of info, but I'll put this out there too.  For a while before my Dad died I was working at a courthouse 2 hours (one way) away from home.  Dad & I had talked about him watching Ella so that she wouldn't be so far away.  The week before he died, we had a plan to get a suite at a hotel in Duncan and Dad would stay there with Ella while I worked then the 3 of us would just hang out in the evenings 3 days a week.  Dad cancelled on me.  I was upset and I told him I was upset because he was the only family I had to count on.  He was the only parent I had.  The night before he died we talked and while I was disappointed, I wasn't mad.  I told him I loved him and he told me the same.  There was no hate talk, and for his wife to say that was not only wrong, it was a calculated attempt to inflict pain.  It didn't work.  Okay, maybe it stung a little, but I know the truth and that's enough.

I have 34 years of memories with my Dad.  I will love him and miss him until the day that I die.  

In 2011 I lost the mother I knew to dementia,  4 days after that I had my first child and 6 months after that lost my father to a heart attack.

I am not asking for sympathy.

I am simply telling the story as I see it. 

1 Year Photos!!

Ladies & Gentlemen.....SHE'S ONE!!!! 

 She couldn't figure out why the tutu was attacking her, but it was so cute.

So, we switched her to some shorts....she approved & turned on the charm.

I'm 1!

She loved the balloons!

Our sweet girls.

Our girl loves her "burpie"

 

Wearing Poppa D's hat

Daddy, Mommy & the Birthday Girl

Our Family

(minus the 3 that are impossible to photograph together)

C A K E!!!!!!!

My favorite....

A Sweet Celebration!!!

Despite having to take Ella to the doctor the morning of her party & being diagnosed with and ear infection, we still had a great time at her party!  She was such a trooper.  It's hard to believe she is already 1 but we have been so blessed.  She is happy, healthy, smart & funny....SO FUNNY!!

We wanted a small party, especially since she won't remember it anyway, but we wanted it to be cute and something she would enjoy looking back on.  We used a lot of vintage items from both my Grandmothers and the rest was homemade.  *Luckily we have been blessed with creative friends!*  I wish I would have taken more pictures, but here are some of the decorations.

The desert table with the quilt my grandmother made me as a backdrop

The balloon wreath I made (thanks Pinterest)

Ella's birthday banner

A pillow case that belonged to my Grandmother that Lacy made into a doll!  So cute!

Love cupcakes...

and pink cookies shaped like footballs with popcorn filled waffle cones.

Isn't that ruffle cake ADORABLE!?!?!?!

Party favors!

It's not a party without a pennant! 

Daddy showing Ella how yummy cake is,

She didn't believe him...

She felt so bad, but she was trying!

post-party rockin with Uncle Chip

We were able to celebrate with some wonderful family & friends!  We are so thankful for all those who have been there for us this past year as we've become a family of 3 and we can't wait to see what the future holds.  

365 Days

Who would have ever thought 1 year could go SO FAST! 

Ella's First Year Wrap-up.....

18,408,207 breaths taken

 2,920 diapers changed

3 severe allergic reactions

0 trips to the ER

5 states visited

8 teeth showing

4 Southeastern Savage Storm football games attended

2 Caddo Bruin football games attended *including 1 State Championship game

1 Morris Eagle football game attended

1 Houston Cougar football game attended

9 rescued animals

 2 words spoken ~ "Oh WOW!"

10 solo steps taken at one time

Countless number of hearts won....

It's amazing to think in just 365 days she went from 

this....8lbs 6ozs and 20 inches long

to this....19lbs and 31 inches long

I'M ONE!!!!

We're out of Stickers!!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!!!!! 

 

St. Patrick's Day 2012 & Happy 2nd Birthday!

We have had a very low key St. Patty's Day.  We did leave the house once, not for a parade....just a trip to Lowe's.  What can we say, we're fancy people.

 St. Patrick's Day means a little more in the Courter family.  It means......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KENDAL & PIERSON!!!!

Ella was excited to hold the sign, but quickly wanted to see if all the colors were flavored.  Fanny celebrated the twins birthday with a nap.  

The rest of the day was spent playing, eating & watching the NCAA Tourney!!  

Here are a few pictures of the World's Cutest Irish Baby....

 Sheer Excitement

Green shirt....check. Bow...check. Busy Ball Popper....check.  Pants....Um, it's St. Patty's Day, who needs pants!

If you're cute & you know it raise your hand!

We hope that you had a great St. Patty's Day as well and that you're brackets haven't already been busted.