The week that marked a year.

Friday will be one year.  365 days.  How can one year have gone so fast and dragged by so slowly.  How could I have changed so much and so little. 

I heard a quote the other day that touched my heart.  Have you ever had that?  You hear a quote or the lyric to a song and you can feel God reach inside and write the words on your soul.  That happened the other day.  "Don't lay down in your problems."  I don't know the name of the woman who said it, I think she was a guest on the Today Show, but her words were instantly written on my heart.

I laid down in my problems.  No, I grabbed some blankets and a king size bed and I snuggled on up in my problems.  It was easy to do.  Mom has dementia, Dad dropped dead, weeks without work because it's an election year and my chosen profession is an election topic, raising a kid, blah, blah, blah......I just laid down.  To be honest with you, and myself, I didn't just lay their, I also allowed the words of the devil to lay there with me.  You know the thoughts you get in those weak moments...."Why is HER life so easy when mine is so hard?"  "I can't believe he is complaining about that, look at what I'M going through."  I let the enemy in and I laid down in my problems with him.

When I heard that woman utter the words above, it snapped, like a hot rubber band on the back of my neck.  Then the name of a woman I've never met popped into my head, this wasn't the first time I thought of her, but this time God used her to put me in my place.  I don't want to disclose too much because I don't know her, but in the span of a few short months she lost her husband in service to our country, had their baby without him, then lost her mom.  I cried. I asked for forgiveness. I prayed for her.  I was ashamed of myself. Still am. 

In the weeks since that day I have started to notice things.  I felt like Saul, all of the sudden I could see.  I see the pain others are facing instead of focusing on mine.  I focus on my blessings instead of my trials more and more. 

Today I spent all day snuggling with my sweet baby girl.  That is a gift.  I heard her say "mamma".  That is a gift.  I saw her run to me.  That is a gift.  I watched her play in the bathtub.  That is a gift.  I talked to my brother.  That is a gift. My wonderful husband walked through the door safe & sound.  That is a gift.  I had friends and family tell me they are praying for me.  That is a gift.  I could go on like this for a while, but you get the point. 

My Dad has been gone a year this Friday.  I miss him.  I cry.  But I refuse to lay down in my sorrow for one more second.  I have too many blessings waiting for me. 

"When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done. "