No Words.

My Dad died on Wednesday.  Even as I type that it doesn't seem real.  He can't be gone, he just can't, we need him too much, I need him too much.

I talked to my Dad almost everyday, mostly about nothing.  It is hard now to even see my phone, the mere sight of it makes me sick to my stomach because I know I will never hear his voice on the other end again.  I cherish those calls though, mostly I cherish the fact that I knew he would always answer.....always. 

My Dad I have always been close, we've gone through our share of hard times but we never stopped our phone conversations.  At one point, we lived 820 miles apart, but we were only a few buttons on the phone away from each other.

I did not have a "normal" childhood.  As the daughter of a High School football coach things were just different in our home.  When I was a little girl I played with the same toys as other girls, it was how I played with those toys that was different.  While most girls were posing Ken as a groom, I was lining him up under center (the offensive line was made up of my little ponies), and I was busy designing an offense. The defense was made up almost exclusively of stolen soldiers, star wars & other boyish action figures....a coaches kid always appreciates a tough defense! Quality time with Dad was watering a football field, painting hash marks, hanging up clean jerseys in numerical order & seeding the new field in Caddo.  I loved that time with my Dad and feel grateful to have such fun and unique memories.

Like playing on the field after your Dad coaches the All-Star Game...

There was a downside, coaches are busy people and my Dad was gone A LOT.  I think as the years passed he regretted time lost.  My Dad was known for saying "Never Be Satisfied"  and he was not, so he made changes.

My Dad moved to Falconhead in 2008 to be closer to my brother, Chip & I and to live his dream of living on a golf course and playing as much golf as he could.  The last 3 years have been a blessing, and my Dad did what most people never make the time to do.....he made up for 30 years of lost time with 3 years of hard loving.  I can't separate memories of my Dad with the last 3 years, he was here for everything.

golf...

announcing our engagement...

golf...

SE football...

golf...

2 weddings (to the same man, 1 destination & 1 at Falconhead)...

golf...

announcing the fact that Ella was coming, and then Ella's arrival and every sweet moment after.


Ella was the light of my Dad's life.  I have never seen a love like that, and it was very clear the feeling was mutual.  He could spend hours just watching her smile at him, he LOVED when she started talking to him. She would smile the second he walked in the room.  One of the great joys of my life will always be watching the father I loved so dearly love on my daughter.  I am saddened beyond words that she will know him only through stories, pictures and videos but I am incredibly grateful that I had the chance to watch them together for 6 months.

There are no words to describe how much I love my Dad.  No words to describe the overwhelming pain in my heart and how empty I feel.  No words to say how grateful I am for the time he & Ella had together.  And no words to describe how proud I am to be his daughter.

I will, in a lot of ways, always be the little girl who misses her Dad & longs for one more hug...

The only words I can come up with are...  I love you Dad & I will miss you every single day until I see you again.

5 Months Old & Ready for Her First Football Season

Ella turned FIVE months old today!  Can you believe it!?!?!?  She is such an awesome kid, and SO funny!!  We have had a wonderful weekend together as a family....even if I am sick and couldn't speak.  I think my inability to speak may have made Scott's weekend a bit better.  ;)

We just can't believe how fast time has flown and how big Ella is these days!  As you can see, she smiles a lot!  You just can't help but join her when she flashes that toothless grin.

As I said this was a wonderful weekend.  For a Football Coach's family, once August rolls around there isn't much family time.  That is made even worse when the smallest member of the family goes to bed before the coach gets home & wakes up after he leaves for the office.  I made Scott a promise; he would never go two whole days without seeing Ella, EVER.  So, we have lunch at the office or go catch a practice, whatever we have to do.  We aren't special, all coaching families do this  *remember that the next time you feel the need to complain about a play call during your favorite team's game* but not this weekend!!  This weekend we had a bye week (no game for all you novices out there) which means that we got to love on our coach for 2 WHOLE DAYS!!!  Ella had so much fun seeing her Dad & I had fun watching them together.  She would wake up from her nap and I'd take her into the living room and her whole body would jump when she saw him.  You could just see her tiny brain go "DADDY!!!  What are you doing here??"  So sweet.

Daddy & daughter got to play, cuddle in the floor, lay on the couch and Scott got to watch an Iowa game with his baby girl for the first time ever.  

Scott & our girls

We also got to spend time with friends and just hang out and watch football.  It was a weekend full of making memories that Scott & I will cherish forever.  As much as we love bye weeks, that's not what our family looks forward to most this time of year.....we relish the Saturdays where we get to go cheer Scott & his team on.

So now, bring on GAMEDAY!!!!  WOOT WOOT!!!!

(please note my daughter is showing the horns down sign! LOVE that girl!)

A Note From Ella

I would like to apologize for my Mom, she has not caught all of you up on all the cool things I've been doing.  I am quite the big girl now!  Please don't be mad at her though, she's really been busy with work, the furry kids, and taking care of everything (ME) while my Daddy is at football.  So, here are some pictures of me & some things I've been doing.

Oh and I had a lengthy talk with Mom today, so expect her to do a better job with the blog in the future.  I'm only 4 1/2 months old but I've learned.....when I talk, Mommy listens!

~ I can roll over!!!  From my back to my tummy and from my tummy to my back.
~ Mommy says I'm an inchworm. I don't know what that is, but I usually only do this when Fanny gets out of my reach and I try to get closer to her.  Mommy says it's a good thing Fanny likes to sleep on the back of the couch because that will be the only safe place when I start to crawl!
~ I haven't felt very good the last few days, first it was a cold that led to an ear infection and then my eye swelled shut when I was at Lacy's house (daycare) but I'm doing better and loving all the snuggle time with Mommy.
~ I love all things furry!  Which is good around this house!  
~ Fanny is my very best friend in the whole world and I love talking to her. I talk to her a bunch and every time she walks toward me I get really excited, smile & giggle. 
~ I am getting really good at eating rice cereal, I open my mouth really wide and am very proud of myself after I swallow each bite.
~ I am now going to bed unswaddled.  I miss my swaddle and it's hard for me to get to sleep, but Mom & Dad say I'm safer this way.
~ Now that I'm unswaddled I like to sleep on my side, that way my thumb stays securely in my mouth.
~ I go to sleep a little after 7pm and wake up at 6:45am....most nights.  Sometimes I have other ideas but Mom & Dad are pretty fond of this sleep stuff so I usually do what they say.
~ Poppa D comes over to visit when he can and I love talking to him, I am getting very good at Skyping with Grammy & PaPa Courter and am very much looking forward to their visit in October and I brighten everyone's day when I go to the nursing home and visit my Mimi Sharon.

Here are some pictures of me.  I'm really cute.  Everyone says so!

Um....who is this guy again???

Some pictures of my Bestie & I

Smiling is my favorite!

In case you didn't know, I'm 4 Months Old!!!!  Yea!!!

Back to God

Our summer is now over & we ended it with a trip to Kansas City (we love those exotic destinations) to dedicate Ella back to the One who blessed us with her. You may not know that my Grandad was a preacher in the Church of the Nazarene, I grew up listening to him lead others to Christ....it made me who I am & imprinted my heart with a deep love for the Lord. My Uncle is also a retired Nazarene pastor and it was very important to Scott & I that Ella be dedicated by him, the same way Grandad dedicated me all those years ago. So North we went!

We got to Maryville on Thursday, just in time for Pagliai's. So yummy! Ella got to spend the evening with Grammy & PaPa Courter and she loved all the attention.

The next day we had lunch with some great people at A&G, Ella reconnected with her Buddy Betty & got to meet the Foley's. Papa Courter then took Ella to his old office where he got to show her off. It was a fun day!

We enjoyed our time in the Ville and especially spending time with family.

Saturday evening we took Ella to the home of my cousin & her husband for Ella's very first overnight away from us. I was nervous to say the least, even though Shelly & Darren are more than capable! We gave them the lengthy list of instructions that I'm sure all first time parents have....which meds at which time, swaddle her like this, use this diaper, do this if she wakes up, blah, blah, blah. I can be a neurotic mess.

After we kissed Ella "bye" for the 50th time, Scott & I headed off to our big date! We went to the Kenny Chesney concert and had a fantastic time.

Sunday was a GREAT day. Ella's Baby Dedication/Baptism went beautifully and she seemed to like being in front of the large crowd. After church the entire group went out to eat, had a great time and really enjoyed being together, we just don't get enough times like that.

She loved being the center of attention

Ella, her Godparents, Shelly & Darren and Scott & I

 

 We are grateful to our amazing family that came out to celebrate this day with us!

We arrived back in Durant around 10:30 Sunday night. Safe, sound, and blessed beyond measure.

See What I Can Do!

Ella is such an awesome baby.  She is changing so much and so fast, it's hard to believe it's already been almost 4 months!  So for those of you who haven't seen her in a while, or haven't got to meet her, here is what she is up to these days. 

~ Ella now weighs 13 lbs 14 oz &  is 24 1/2 inches long
~ She is continuing to do well in daycare & likes to watch the big kids
~ Ella found her FEET!!  She's pretty sure they are the coolest things ever
~ She can stand supporting all her weight, although balance still eludes her
~ She is not committed to Tummy Time.  Sometimes she likes it, sometimes she hates it
~ Ella had shots this past Friday & did not cry until after the needle was removed & the band-aid was about to be applied.  She let out 2 wails and then looked around like "Okay, I said my peace....let's go"
~ She can hold up her head and shoulders while on her tummy
~ She refuses to roll over
~ Ella can carry on a lovely conversation, lots of "ahhoow" and "eehhheee" she has the best facial expressions
~ She is a little more into the TV than I'd like, but she just loves the bright colors & movement
~ ESPN & Animal Planet are her favorite channels.  Investigation Discovery rounds out her Top 3
~ Ella ate Rice Cereal for the first time tonight and she did really well!

The cutest feet ever

Ella thinks they're pretty cool too...

"What are you staring at.....have YOU ever seen anything like this?!?"

After her shots. She got LOTS of cuddle time after I saw that face!

Her favorite pose.

Not quite sure about the cereal or the Eat Seat

She decided it wasn't so bad.

Summer Fun!

We have had a lot of fun this summer with Miss Ella!  Over the 4th of July weekend we went down to Houston...I miss Houston terribly; I miss the myriad of great restaurants & things to do, health food stores and most of all I miss my wonderful friends who are still there.  So, I really wanted to get Ella down to H-town & introduce her to the dirty south and all our friends there. 

We went out to dinner with some wonderful friends, we actually all got married within a few months of each other last year.

We had a great time catching up & everyone got a chance to love on Ella.  Exciting to hear about the new accomplishments in their lives....never hurts to have a lawyer & a lawyer/judge on your side!!! 

After a great dinner we got back to our hotel room just in time for Ella to watch the fireworks at the Juice Box aka Minute Maid Park.  She was mesmerized!

The next day we had a great brunch with more friends, some good ol Nazarene folk whose baby boy is 4 months older than Ella.  Then headed south to stay with some friends from Norman who have since moved to Houston.  We had a great time just visiting and seeing their kids be so sweet to our little girl.  Wish we could have hung out with them longer.  I miss the long chats around the kitchen table.  Ella had a blast and was spoiled by Janice & Cha Cha, she also got to go swimming for the first time and LOVED it.  I was a little less thrilled about being in a bathing suit, luckily it was a judgement free zone! 

We've also spent some time this summer with my dearest friend & her kiddos, see this post, and loved seeing Bay Hope playing with Ella, she loved watching the big kids and apparently got a pretty good kick out of Jett. 

Ella still has a trip to Maryville & KC ahead of her this summer before we hunker down and prep for the start of football season.  Hope you enjoyed the update & the pictures.  If we haven't made it to see you I'm sure Ella will be in a town near you soon.  Until then.....hugs from the Courters!!!!!

Wonder Moms

I was told that I was not updating the blog enough, so here I am.  The funny thing about that is my dearest friend in the world told me this as she held sweet Ella; it doesn't sound funny but it is because this came from the mouth of the woman who, once upon a time, could barely get through a 10 minute phone call because her 2, then 3 very young children always seemed to need something at the very moment she wanted to do something for herself.  I remember thinking how crazy her life was as I lived the "pick up and go whenever I feel like it" life of a single college student.  Now I look at her with her 3 children who look so grown up that it makes my heart hurt, and she is a different lady.  She is still my Ash, but she is so much more relaxed and seems so comfortable in her skin.  It makes me wonder what Scott & I look like now.  Do we look frazzled?  Do we walk around looking like crazy people.  Please don't answer that!

I read something the other day and I think it's very spot on.  A woman was talking about how as she was walking with her 3 kids, one of which was a newborn, she saw a new mom still in her pjs going out to get the morning paper looking like a hot mess.  She started remembering when her first child was born she would go through an entire day and then realized she had yet to shower (yeah I can relate) but somehow with 3 she's up and ready for the day by 7 am.  She went on to say that parenting doesn't get easier, especially when you add more kids, but we as parents get better at our job.  With each day that passes God gives us what we need for that day...he meets us where we are and then, as time goes on, we become more confident in our roll as parents and in turn become better.  My best friend is the living example of that.  Please don't be mistaken, she has always been a wonderful mom but now she is a graceful mom that makes it look easy, especially to those of us newbies.  It is just so awe inspiring to see how she has grown as a mom, woman and wife.

I'm extremely blessed to have more than one of those "Wonder Moms" in my life....moms that should wear capes because they are truly superheros.  We have also been fortunate enough to spend some time with 2 of those ladies and their families the past few weeks.  One of those ladies (mother of 2 boys & 2 girls) has a wall hanging that I noticed years ago; I thought it was great then but now I think it is profound....it says, "Strong women...May we know them, May we be them, May we raise them."  I am happy my daughter will have these women in her life, God sure put them in my life for a reason!  Amazing Moms.  Amazing Women.  Amazing Friends.  Amazing Roll Models.